When did I become an artist?

I’ve been heavily awestruck recently by the wave of artistic events and happenings in my life that I just found myself asking this big question–when did I become an Artist?!

No, seriously.

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Mind Games No. 06 at University Art store in Sacramento, CA

 

I started asking close friends and loved ones this personal thought more recently and they all laughed at me as if I was the last person to figure it out. Yes, you are an Artist. Didn’t you already know that?

Maybe the reason why it hasn’t been that obvious to me is that I’ve been many things in my life so far–student, academician, clinician, researcher, trainer, diagnostic consultant–but none have been related to me being an artist. I was always just meddling with the arts on the side and making artworks when I had time to spare or as a hobby. It wasn’t the main focus of my life. After all, my nostalgic upbringing has promoted my love of the arts as something that I should mention to others as an interest or OTHER skill that I possess, but definitely not my main identity.

But now, I feel that the wind of life is drifting me off to a new, untrodden path. This seems to be the story of my life, by the way. I have a plan in mind that is neat and orderly and precise–yet the winds of change remind me without hesitation that there may be other plans for me. I am currently taking time away from working as a clinical psychologist and now focusing on making my artistic endeavors come to fruition. I’ve waited and waited so long to do this and now that I have completed my training and gone through the circus of academia, I feel that I owe it to the other side of me–my creative brain–to go in full force and start working towards my artistic goals.

Don’t get me wrong–I am scared as H E C K. I don’t know anyone else offhand who is willing to give it all up for the dream. But I’ve had this nagging comment in the back of my mind about why I couldn’t. That I would not succeed. That what I had at hand was the best that I could. And how I could do no better than this.

But I’m a Taurus and I’m as stubborn as they come. So here I go with all my might. ♉️

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